Evil Critic - Limp Bizkit

Ena, ainda se lembram deles? Fred Durst e os seus boys ainda fizeram algum sucesso há uns tempos, quando o nu-metal era tão modinha como é agora o emo. Sinceramente, entre um e outro, não sei qual será pior, mas sim, admito, eu era jovem e ouvia isto. Sim. E tenho o Chocolate Starfish. Sim. Não me orgulho, mas pronto. Hakuna Matata. No fundo, todos nós temos um álbum humilhante em casa. Hum? Não é?

De qualquer modo, o álbum seguinte da banda, Results May Vary, não foi nem de perto nem de longe tão bem recebido, nem pelo público nem pela crítica. Muitos apontam isto à saída do guitarrista Wes Borland, que parece que ainda era o único com algum talento. Entrou Mike Smith e os resultados são estes. Uma cover dos The Who que foi considerada a pior cover de todos os tempos e um álbum tão mau que não chegava sequer a dividir opiniões. Ouch.


Reviews a Results May Vary


"If you actually like this album, or even anything by this band for that matter, you need to face up to the fact that you have terrible taste. It's that simple. You don't ever see fast food reviewed by food critics. It's because it sucks. I'm willing to wager that if you like this band, you also like to eat fast food. A lot. And the only thing you can come up with to say when confronted with your own bad taste is, "Limp Bizkit rulez!!!" That is not making a point. That is saying something with nothing to back it up, just like I can tell you that I can eat an apple and shit out a fruit salad. People, especially people with bad taste, like to say a lot of meaningless things. It does not make them right, nor does it mean we should take them seriously. People who actually know what they are talking about, you know, people with good taste, intelligent people, etc... they have all gotten together and guess what? We all agree that this music is one of the worst examples of the medium. Now get back to flipping burgers, you lame jocko retards."

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" ha ha ha ah ah ha"

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"I'm really not surprised that this is the all-time worst on this site. After all, it's like Limp Bizkit combines hip-hop and rock, then removes the hip-hop and removes the rock. Then what are you left with? Nothing."

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"So many things went wrong with this album. First and foremost: Fred Durst still can't write lyrics to save his life. He's 30-something years old and still writes with the mindset of a drunken frat boy. Secondly: The band's best musician, guitarist Wes Borland, is MIA on RESULTS MAY VARY. Mike Smith does an okay job replacing Borland, but it simply isn't the same. Third, like "Chocolate Starfish" before it, the album runs on too long (although not as long as "Chocolate Starfish," where seven tracks out of the eight in the album's second half exceeded five minutes in length). Third: The cover of "Behind Blue Eyes" is the best song on the album. This is a problem for two reasons: a) The instrumental from the original has been replaced by a dull, monotonous voice repeating "L-I-M-P...discover" over and over; and b) If a subpar cover of someone else's song is the best song on your band's album, then you're probably in big trouble because none of your own songs are standing out as much. The only thing that could have made this album any worse is if they stuck with their original idea for the album title and called this record -- I kid you not -- PANTY SNIFFER."

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" the cover of ''behing blue eyes'' is insulting to music. this whole album is insulting to mankind"

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" My ears my ears!!!!"

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"God how I wish I wasn't forced to listen to this album. But I was, and the story isn't worth telling, and I'll have to leave it in the past. Oh, and if you like this music there may be something very wrong with you. It's beyond a matter of taste. You just may not be human, that's all."

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"this album couldn't suck any more. there is no redeeming factor...i wouldn't even download it if someone paid me...might ruin my hard drive."

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"Their first three albums were garbage, and the fourth continues the tradition. You can tell that they've tried to get a little less cheesey and go back to more of a metal feel, but it doesn't help the fact that Fred Durst is possibly the worst vocalist/lyricist in the history of rock music. This is a must-have for 12-year old girls and high school football players, but anyone with any sense of style or intelligence will probably want to pass."

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" i'll never get over it."

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" Vomit in audio form"



Ok, esta última é das minhas favoritas pela sua simplicidade e eficácia. No entanto, tenho de dar o prémio a esta aqui:

"Limp Bizkit rock? a 30+ yrs old man who can't play instrument, acts like he just got into puberty. and screams "fxck" so many times I wonder if Fred recorded this in prison washroom. man if you think that rock, get this album"

E, sinceramente, tive uma trabalheira a escolher algumas reviews de tantas tão más que encontrei. Parabéns Limp Bizkit.